I found out that some of my close friends believe that I'm withdrawing from them and only riding my bike because I'm going to abandon them when I go to college. I withdrew from them because my anxiety was getting really bad and I was doing a lot of OCD like, ritualistic things to cope. I didn't want to bring up my mental health with them, I thought if they truly cared they'd notice and they'd reach out to me but they didn't. I don't know if I'm more at fault for withdrawing when I was having mental health struggles or if they're more at fault for not seeing that I was struggling more months on end. I wish I was closer with them right now but I don't think I have it in me to talk to them about what I was/am going through, and even if I did feel capable I'm not sure if I would want to. I've listened to them rant before about how annoying it is listening to people talk endlessly about their mental health and how bad it is and I think I'd feel like to some extent they'd just think that I was playing a victim card. I'm stuck. I want my friends back but I'm scared to open up to them. I'm glad that I've been able to bond with my dad through all this though. He's been really supportive and has listened when I need someone to listen, and has given advice when I need advice. I'm really lucky to have someone like him in my life.