May 17, 2020

I've been trying to get E*** to talk to me more but it's reinforcing the thought in my mind that she is just trying to stop being friends now. If that's what's actually going on I'm not sure if she really just isn't interested in our friendship anymore or if she is just trying to cut it off now so that it's not harder for her in the fall. Either way, I don't think she understands that in the past when I've said that I'm committed to staying friends, I really am.

Every now and then I feel the urge to just write up some lengthy text detailing how I feel but know I'd just end up deleting it all because I'd feel guilty not talking about that kind of stuff in person. And I don't really trust people anymore to not screenshot everything and send it to other people before reading it.