February 17, 2020
Hi,
I have a lot on my mind lately. Maybe it's just a side effect of stress from choosing colleges and such, but it still weighs on me every day. It's not nearly as bad as what people around me who have mental illnesses deal with, but i still spend a majority of my time thinking about these subjects.
1. Religion. I don't believe in god, or any sort of higher power. I don't talk with other people about this unless they start the conversation or tell me that they want to talk about it because I don't want to offend anyone. But it's hard listening to people talk about their faith everyday and people encourage them, but if I was to talk about my lack of faith I would feel much more vulnerable and more likely to be made fun of. I read a study by the University of British Columbia about the distrust of non religious people by religious people in the workplace and out of it. At school everyone is so religious that I feel alone. I know I have people I can talk to but I don't want them to begin to dislike me based on my beliefs about our existence. I would rather be alone than surrounded by all these people with completely different beliefs than me who don't make any sort of an effort to try to understand how why other people believe the things they believe. Everyone is so obsessed with inclusion, but they leave out how they only like to include the people who cause them to feel good about themselves.
2. Work. I currently work in food service. I make a little of $10 per hour which certainly helps out my financial situation, and the people at work are nice, but I don't find any joy in my work which leaves me feeling drained every night and wishing I was doing something else instead. I just signed up to work for a food delivery service where I can ride my bike and make money. I think this will help me feel more fulfilled after and during my work. But my mom worries about me riding my bike in urban settings for work. My moms dad knows someone who's kid died in the city after he was the victim of a hit and run while riding his bike. But I would rather take that risk everyday and be happy and feel fulfilled, than to continue on in a job I don't like.
There's a lot of other stuff on my mind but I'm running out of writing time tonight, I'll try to post again soon. Thank you for reading this.
Drew
I have a lot on my mind lately. Maybe it's just a side effect of stress from choosing colleges and such, but it still weighs on me every day. It's not nearly as bad as what people around me who have mental illnesses deal with, but i still spend a majority of my time thinking about these subjects.
1. Religion. I don't believe in god, or any sort of higher power. I don't talk with other people about this unless they start the conversation or tell me that they want to talk about it because I don't want to offend anyone. But it's hard listening to people talk about their faith everyday and people encourage them, but if I was to talk about my lack of faith I would feel much more vulnerable and more likely to be made fun of. I read a study by the University of British Columbia about the distrust of non religious people by religious people in the workplace and out of it. At school everyone is so religious that I feel alone. I know I have people I can talk to but I don't want them to begin to dislike me based on my beliefs about our existence. I would rather be alone than surrounded by all these people with completely different beliefs than me who don't make any sort of an effort to try to understand how why other people believe the things they believe. Everyone is so obsessed with inclusion, but they leave out how they only like to include the people who cause them to feel good about themselves.
2. Work. I currently work in food service. I make a little of $10 per hour which certainly helps out my financial situation, and the people at work are nice, but I don't find any joy in my work which leaves me feeling drained every night and wishing I was doing something else instead. I just signed up to work for a food delivery service where I can ride my bike and make money. I think this will help me feel more fulfilled after and during my work. But my mom worries about me riding my bike in urban settings for work. My moms dad knows someone who's kid died in the city after he was the victim of a hit and run while riding his bike. But I would rather take that risk everyday and be happy and feel fulfilled, than to continue on in a job I don't like.
There's a lot of other stuff on my mind but I'm running out of writing time tonight, I'll try to post again soon. Thank you for reading this.
Drew
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